Honesty in Relationships

Honesty in Relationships

Here's to a New Beginning!!

Here's to a New Beginning!!
By Lea Mishell
October 17, 2009

This time last year, I NEVER would have imagined that I would be married.

And yet, I am.

This time this year, I NEVER would have imagined that I would find a way to make my dream career come true so soon.

And yet, I did.

This time next year, I IMAGINED what it would be like to be home every day when my children went to and came home from school.

And soon, I will.

Through Him ALL things are possible.
God is Good ALL THE TIME.
All the time, GOD IS GOOD!!!

Lm...

© 2009 Lea Mishell. All Rights Reserved.

The Last DEAR JOHN Letter

Recently I was contacted by an ex that had the potential to be a lifelong friend but fucked it up with that last text he sent me suggesting that he and I do something that could potentially harm my marriage before it even began! I hadn't heard from him for months after that text and I was so wrapped up in my preparations to get married that I didn't have a chance to fully digest the demise of our relationship. I mean, this man has had such an impact on my entire writing career! And to this day he insprires me. I just wish it wasn't such a negative source. The fact that I allowed him to disrespect me for so long is what hurts me more than anything but I turned that hurt into words which later became books so I wish him nothing but the best in his life. As for going forward, I personally want nothing to do with him anymore.

This is the last letter I wrote to him. I'm posting the words because I need to remind myself that I have closed this chapter of my life. I don't want him to think that he can come back AGAIN as he's done so MANY times over the years. Either I would bring him back to me or he would find me. I need this to be over for good. I know my writing will change but I'm praying that without his influence, my writing will improve.

God bless.
Lm...

(I won't say his name. I'm trying to stop disrespecting the privacy of others.)

Dear _____,

Whether you give a damn about me or not, do not EVER try to contact me. Not at my home, not online, not EVER. You have hurt me so deeply that I never want to see or hear from you again. I'd much rather keep a positive yet distant memory of you than the ones you left me with. What hurt the most is that as much as I loved you it wasn't enough for you to want me back. Yes, I wanted to marry you and raise our children* together but you kept playing games but what cut me the deepest was when you suggested we get a hotel room and you implied that my fiance (now Husband) would cheat on me at his bachelor party. As much as that hurt, it cut deeper because that let me know that if you and I were getting married that YOU would do that! That is NOT how you begin a loving and faithful marriage! It was bad enough that I met with you to comfort you after your mom passed without telling him first. That was my mistake but I didn't want him to stop me from seeing you. Despite the aftermath, I'm glad I got to see you that last time. I would've been content with that night as our final memory together even though we didn't sleep together. I know you wanted to but to be honest, I had no sexual feelings for you after the last two times we had "sex".** I'd never been so unsatisfied by you and I was too in love with him to hurt him. Considering our past, I can't blame you for trying but what kind of woman would I be if I'd cheated on him? Would you be there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart? Why start now when you weren't there before when YOU broke my heart so many times!

I deleted your Facebook friend request. I closed my MySpace page. I deleted all your texts, phone numbers and birthday reminders for you, your mom and your sons. What more do I need to do or say to make you realize that you've hurt me too much and I love me too much to let you continue? I'm not trying to hurt you so PLEASE stop hurting me!!

Whether you ever loved me or not, I pray you will be a better man for the next woman and stop playing games. I don't hate you but I don't love you enough to keep you in my life. Our time is done. I've moved on. Now it's your turn.

Good luck & God bless.
L.

P.S. If losing me was part of your game, You WON!!

*and don't forget I gave your baby that we created up so that you could have a better life!

**for the record I haven't slept with anyone since I met him (my Husband). I'm not keeping you on the side so don't ask or think about it!


Now, after I reread the letter a few times, my anger levels dropped. Karma has been good to me and so far things are beautiful with my husband and me and I didn't want to disturb my peace so I wrote this last page.

_____,
Now that I've let that anger out and I feel better, I apologize if I hurt you and I thank you for letting me go. Thanks to you I see how blessed I am to have my husband. Thanks to you I see that there is someone out there for everyone, even me. I thought you were that one but in your own way you made it clear that it wasn't you. I was too blind from my love for you to see that! Thank you for everything you've done for and to me. I very much appreciate the lesson I have learned from you. May God continue to bless you in all that you do.

L.

© 2009 Lea Mishell. All Rights Reserved

My Shemar Moore Dedication Page

Shemar Franklin Moore
Birthday: April 20, 1970
Height: 6' 3"
Occupation: Actor, Model, TV Show Host
Currently resides in Los Angeles, CA

Current Projects: Star of "Criminal Minds" as SSA Derrick Morgan
Other Roles:
Star of "The Young and The Restless" as Malcolm Winters on CBS Daytime
Host of "Soul Train"
Star of "Birds of Prey" as Det. Jesse Reese on The WB

Interesting Facts: Plays baseball. Loves chocolate chip cookies and his mom. Danish is his first language. Lived overseas for the first few years of his life.

Accomplishments: October 3, 2000, Meeting me at the Circle City Classic Jam in Indianapolis, IN. He was the celebrity host at a party that I attended. I learned that although he was supposed to host both nights, he was not going to be able to attend on the first night so I only paid for the VIP ticket on the second night which is where I was blessed to get THIS close to him!!! He's so close up on me you would think that he was my man... Oh I WISH!!! **faints** I hope to see him again someday and thank him for THIS picture while we take another one!!! :-)


All information received from personal experience and Shemar.com (which is no longer in service)

There's something you need to know about Scorpios...

Something To Know About

Scorpio

SCORPIOS are intense and passionate lovers, happy to devote all their energy to their relationship. However, SCORPIO'S jealousy must be carefully controlled. If honesty has been established in the relationship, jealousy should not arise, no matter the situation. To have a relationship with a SCORPIO can be one of a little interest or total attraction. SCORPIOS work hard to achieve their high standard of living and require a partner with the same motivation in life. A SCORPIO'S seduction can be quite intoxicating. SCORPIO will be strongly attracted by the whiff of danger, but can be equally dangerous. Therefore...

BEWARE!!!

-unknown

My Maya Angelou Dedication Page

Name: Maya Angelou

Born: Marguerite Johnson

Birthday: April 4, 1928

Birthplace: St. Louis, MO

Occupation: Author, Poet, Teacher, Historian, Civil-Rights Activist, Producer, Director, Playwright, Actress, Mentor

Family Life: Mother of 1 son

Ms. Angelou's accomplishments are too numerous to name on this page. Please go to her official website to read more about this Phenomenal Woman!

Personal Note: Although I do not consider myself a poet nor do I generally read poetry, I have become a fan of spoken word and my first encounter with Ms. Angelou was through hearing her recite her poetry. To read her words is one thing but to hear the voice of the woman that pulled them together is inspiring. No, I'm not a spoken word artist now but I have Ms. Angelou as an unintentional mentor in regard to my writing. The way she inspires and uplifts people that she may never meet in person is impressive to me. I don't aspire to match her in anyway except that I hope that my writing touches those that read it.

All of the information received on this page is from the official website for Maya Angelou

Don't Lie (1999)

Don't lie to make me happy. J

Don't lie to make me sad. L

Don't lie even though

The truth will make me mad. K

I've heard your lies before

From you, and others, too.

But what you fail to realize

Is what harm your lies do. L

They raise my spirits one minute J

Only to be dashed by reality. L

I'm sure you have better ways

To use your creativity.

I hope and pray that today is the day U

That you will tell me no more lies.

The truth is all I ask for

And it requires no alibis.

Please no more fibs, little white lies,

Or sweet words to appease me.

You'll soon believe that telling the truth

Is all you need to keep me. J

© 1999 lmg

Be Happy (2001)

Thank you Divanni for the inspiration.

"Be Happy"

Be happy in the arms of your lover, cuddled up close, feeling each other's heartbeats.

Be happy alone, free, and independent.

Be happy that you woke up and lived to see another day and thank the Lord that He made it possible.

Be happy that someone you love is in a better place.

Be "sweaty, sex-funky, happy as you wanna be" happy. (thanx 2 Jill Scott)

Be "don't worry, be happy" happy. (thanx 2 Bobby McFerrin)

Be happy to be you.

Be happy that you are loved... by me.

© 2001 ej (010801)

Hello. It's Me. Again...

Writing. One of the driving passions in my life. My dream career is to write books. I've already published two books with AuthorHouse (Livin' Just Enough in 2003 and Illusions: Things are not always what they seem... in 2004) but they are both out of print and I have their follow-ups waiting in the wings to roll off the presses. I'm praying I can re-release them within the next two years. Until then, I'm working in Corporate America (CA) saving up for MY re-release. I recently took a 6 week break but due to financial difficulties, I was forced back to working for someone other than myself. But this time I have an exit strategy.

So, here I am with yet another Blog. I'm hoping that this one will inspire me to keep blogging instead of continuously creating new blogs! You shouldn't see my name so much when you Google me considering how little I've done! LOL

In the meantime, I hope I'll be back to share my thoughts with you and if possible to strike up a conversation or two.

Til then,
Peace. Love.Happiness.
Lm...